20 February 2011

The Invitations Are Out!

You will have to excuse the RoyalWedding blog this morning, because we are in a bit of a grump. You see, the invitations for Kate and William’s wedding have been sent out for the wedding and we have NOT received one. >sulk<

Around 1900 lucky individuals HAVE received their invites (a classic design on white card, with black writing and a big gold flouncy crown) with approximately 1000 being made up of the couple’s mates. Presumably, this number includes everybody they’re friends with on facebook. Also attending will be representatives of the charities William and Kate work with, the Beckhams (according to initial reports) and around 40 crowned heads – various obscure European royals, and the nice blonde lady who gives out the prizes at Wimbledon.

One person who will NOT be hearing a magic envelope pop through her letterbox is red-haired troublemaker, Annie Fergie. Sarah, Duchess of York, insisted yesterday via a friend that she ‘never expected’ to be invited and would be unable to attend anyway because she has ‘private plans overseas’. Alright, Fergs! We get the picture. Also omitted are US president Barack Obama and wife Michelle. In spite of the fact that Michelle angled for an invitation when she appeared on ‘Live! With Regis and Kelly’ last week.

In a final omission, a charmingly crazy Mexican lady called Estibalis Chavez has unfortunately not received an invite. Chavez, who is currently camped outside the British embassy in Mexico City, has been on hunger strike for nine days (and counting) surviving on only water in protest at not being added to the list. In a tent adorned with flyers and images of the couple, one message on the side of Chavez’ current abode reads ‘Are they going to let me die just because they wouldn't give me an invitation to the royal wedding?’ Awkward. Chavez is a massive fan of Diana (they always are, aren’t they?) saying ‘I think she was one of the most interesting women in history, and one of the best and most beautiful’. Rrright.

Alongside all the goss about the guestlist, there has been another leakage about Kate’s outfit for the big day. Philip Treacy will apparently be designing some headgear for Kate and the bridal party, on the suggestion of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. Appaaaaarently, Camilla suggested to Kate that she approach the milliner to design her head attire for the evening reception, as Kate has worn Treacy’s designs before (to William’s passing out parade in 2006) and Camilla wore one of his creations for her own wedding in 2005.

Branded tat wise, there is now a complete range of nonsense which William could, potentially, utilise for his stag night.

A new ale, entitled ‘Kiss Me Kate’ has been launched by UK brewery Castle Rock. Head brewer, Adrian Redgrove, described the ale as ‘elegant, tasteful and British to the core’ and as ‘the ideal way to toast the couple’s future happiness’. And finally, for the morning after, graphic designer Lydia Leith has come up with a branded sick bag (yup), emblazoned with a sketch of the nausea-inducing twosome, and the slogan ‘throne Up’. Guffaw. The bags cost the princely sum of £3 a pop and are available from Lydia’s website here. Wonder if Party Pieces will stock them?

- Alex Butt


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