Breathe a sigh of relief and get Granny on speed dial because it’s official, ladies and gentlemen: Tea towels ARE allowed!
Following the Lord Chamberlain’s ruling last year that only ‘permanent’ official royal wedding memorabilia would be produced (cups and the like), the royal family has responded calls for a tea towel to be allowed, announcing yesterday that there now WILL be an official drying-up cloth. The design will feature not an amateurish painting of the couple (boo), but the intertwined officials of Kate and William on white linen. Amaze, right? It seems like Grazia Daily aren’t the only ones to be excited by the prospect of having Kate and William in or kitchen, as a spokesperson for supermarket giant ASDA said yesterday that the chain expected ‘the official tea towel to clean up’.
The linen will accompany the official porcelain crockery, which along with Catherine and William’s intertwined initials features a pattern of ribbons and bows, crafted in Stoke on Trent by relatives of Robbie Williams. Destined to gather dust on grandparent’s mantelpieces across the land, the collection comprises an entirely useless selection of a plate, pillbox and commemorative tankard.
HOWEVER, away from the official merchandise is a whole spectrum of tat commemorative paraphernalia, which you will be unsurprised to learn that we are magnetically drawn to. First up are these awesome commemorative plates by KK outlet. Launching in stores today, the china features a genius collection of slogans including ‘Kate’s wedding list: Toaster, Dinner Set, Throw Pillows, New Tiara, Oxfordshire', ‘Thanks For The Free Day Off’ and ‘It Should Have Been Me’. >guffaw<
In more crockery news, images have been released of EXACTLY the sort of thing Grazia Daily imagines will be literally everywhere come April, with some delightful plates being produced in Tri-Ring Group Corporation workshop, China. The pates, in a bravely chosen shade of sunshine yellow, feature a heart-cut out image of Kate and William, surrounded by a non-specific crest and flourish design. We love.
However, all this palls into insignificance when compared to Grazia Daily’s favourite piece of memorabilia thus far. Courtesy of the Early Learning Centre, the ‘Happyland Royal Wedding set’ features a plastic doll version of Prince William and Kate in a gold trimmed carriage, as well as a model of the Queen, Prince Phillip, a corgi and a couple of lackies in formal dress. £15 well spent, yes? Yes.
Retail analysts have predicted that a total of a massive £26million could be spent on wedding memorabilia, with a further £360million being spent food and groceries (mainly booze, obvs) for the long weekend that accompanies the festivities. Accompanied with the news that pubs and bars will be allowed to extend their opening hours for the weekend of the wedding, Grazia Daily would like to leave you with the following picture: several tons of hummus being eaten from commemorative pillboxes, and a large number of official wedding tankards emerging from the bank holiday with a suspiciously chipped rim.
- Alex Butt