30 July 2013

Dear Prince George, Here Are 5 Things You Need To Know About Being Born on July 22

As you may have heard, there’s a new baby in town – Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge. Prince William and Kate Middleton’s first born caused mass hysteria throughout the world when he arrived last week, but what has he got to look forward to in the coming years? Here, writer Lizzy Dening, who shares his birthday, gives her heads up…

Dear Prince George, Here Are 5 Things You Need To Know About Being Born on July 22

Well, baby George, I always suspected you would choose my birthday to make your appearance, and it looks like I was right. It’s a bit of a liberty, if you ask me, being as I’m an only child and not used to sharing. However, seeing as you look pretty cute, I’ll make an exception, and will even hand  you some pearls of wisdom from my 27 years of July 22nd birthdays.

1. Prince or not, I suspect Kate and Wills may have some trouble mustering up enough of your friends for birthday parties. Try not to take it personally – it’s just high summer tends to be when everyone you like takes their holidays, and everyone you’re ambivalent (at best) about is still hanging around. The night of the 21st, your frantic parents will be ringing around the neighbours trying to boost numbers. These kids will be the ones who are allergic to cake, cry when required to pin a tail on a donkey (or corgi?) and will probably produce copious amounts of pink vomit, no matter what they’ve eaten. Maybe make like your grandma and go for an ‘official’ birthday some other time?

2. On a side note, it’s also enough of the way into the summer holidays for your mum to have done every potato-stamping, Playdoh-eating, kiddie-paragliding activity possible with you, and to already have pinned a special calendar on the fridge counting the days until you’re back at school. Planning a birthday party will not help her mood. Gin just might, as will you acting delighted with your presents, even if they are – whisper it – ‘educational’.

3. While I’m on the subject of disappointments, you ought to know that it always, always rains. It looked like the weather was going to take it easy on you last week, but the familiar storms crept in late at night. Get used to it – ask for an umbrella for your 1st birthday.

4. You’ve chosen a pretty interesting astrological chart too, and let me tell you, we’re an usual breed, us Cancer-on-the-cusp-of-Leos, and it’s probably for the best. Welcome to the world of being half-crab, half-lion – bitey, pinchy and side-walking, we’re a mixture of sensitivity and home-loving, combined with being outgoing and bolshy. Quite the emotional cocktail. Enjoy.

5. It looks like we both need to get used to sharing, as it turns out some other famous folk picked the 22nd too, with everyone from Selena Gomez to Rhys Ifans blowing out their candles at the same time – heck, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem even had the audacity to welcome their second sprog on the very same day as you. I suggest sending them to the Tower  a-sap.

So happy birthday George and remember, if you need a number-booster for your first party, I’m your girl! (Although it will mostly need to be all about me; some only child habits die hard.)


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Catherine Anchorette Corkey (Wed Jul 31 13:15:56 BST 2013): This is gold! Congratulations Lizzy.