It’s my birthday on Sunday. I know, thanks. And no, no, nothing huge, just some drinks with friends. You see I usually like birthdays. Never had a bad one. But this year, I’m dreading it. Why? Because it’s slap bang in the middle of the Eclipalypse.
Unless you’ve been living in a box (or don’t follow Chanel-wearing, uber-astrologer to the stars, Susan Miller) you might not be aware that this April is a big month in astrology: two eclipses - one today and one on the 29th – are set to disrupt our work and personal lives.
So, bad is this apparent astro mash up that Susan Miller has been giving classes on how to cope with it. The worst affected are allegedly those with birthdays in April (me, hiya) and those whose birthday falls between the eclipses (again, me, hiya). And today is the start.
I never used to believe in stars and moons and horoscopes but I can't help feeling impending dread. As a result I have cancelled any meetings with bosses (we will apparently ‘come to blows’), anything involving money (I brought in my lunch) and anything involving ‘a spouse’ with whom relations may reach ‘an emotional apex’ (sorry, babe).
Of course this may all be horoscope hokum; a huge pile of astro-baloney. I mean how can this possibly apply to EVERYONE ON THE PLANET? But all I’m saying is that once my mortgage fell through on the day that Susan Miller said my ‘mortgage would fall through.’
So call me paranoid, but I’m battening down the hatches til May. See you on the other side people.
- Morwenna Ferrier, Features and Culture Editor