Here's How Our Conversation When Choosing A Wedding Venue Went... (Clue: It Was Tough)

18 March 2013 by

You’ve done the easy bit (said yes whilst he’s on bended knee) but, if my experience is anything to go by after pretty much an hour of wow-omg-tears-this-is-mentalness you and your fiancée are embroiled in a tortuous discussion about wedding reception venues. Mine went like this:

Me: Let’s get married in the Bahamas. By the grumpy but amazing shop-keeper Vernon who also happens to be a pastor. Bonus: it wouldn’t rain. 

bahamas hopetown wedding
Him: But it takes 24 hours, three planes and a boat to get there. Your best friend will have just had a baby. And your grandma’s 93.

Me: Ok, so it’s got to be England then. But I want it to be somewhere that at least means something to us, rather than just a random hotel or whatever.

Him: How about Oxford then, where we met? [Cue 30 minutes and £45 of 3G usage from the Indian wildlife park where he proposed.]

oxford wedding
Me: Hmmm, it either reminds me of puking up at someone’s 21st on a dance-floor or doing final exams in a Harry Potter-esque hall, neither of which are very fun. (For the record though, if you are looking for Oxford wedding venue options and haven’t got drunk/done exams there, may I recommend the Cherwell Boat House or the Bodleian Library).

Him (not yet exasperated): Ok, then London. You grew up in North London, and now we live together South. Plus it means people can get the tube home. Cheap. [Out comes the iPad again].

tower of london wedding


Me: Wow, weddings are expensive in London. And yes, I grew up in North London but we’re talking Camden, not Claridges. Or the Tower of London. (Yes, this is a serious wedding venue option, people. And it comes with free Beefeaters).

Him (now a bit exasperated): Gloucestershire? We love your parents house there and it’s close to my family in Bristol. Plus, super chilled.

cripps barn


Me: Would have to be Cripps Barn then. The most-stereotypically beautiful Cotswolds barn but so in the middle of nowhere you can make as noise as you want.

And that’s how we came to be getting married here – a place that I’ve always loved and that’s pretty enough for a wedding but fun enough for a party. I’m not sure what that proves other than when you’re planning your venue, talk it out and explore all options. Just preferably not when using 3G from a foreign country.

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