F***, I'm a fiancée! The wedding planning started with a proposal...

20 December 2012 by

Chhatra Sagar

Our tent was the one on the left!

It was hardly as if the proposal came as a surprise. James and I have been together since we were – gulp! – twenty, after meeting at University. So when we booked a holiday in a remote tented retreat Chhatra Sagar in Jodphur that had sunsets like this, my friends nudged, nudged, winked, winked that bended knee action was inevitable. Turns out they were right. But that doesn’t make what comes after a proposal – planning a wedding – any easier.

After one night spent scoffing homemade Indian poppadums (the last time I’ll eat carbs without a second thought, I’m beginning to realize) and drinking G&T’s – us two the only ones in the world who knew we were engaged – the frenzy started. Amidst the text messages and excited emails were the Questions. Where? When? Wearing whom? It made me wish I’d been one of those girls who’d had a secret folder hidden under her bed full of pictures torn out of magazines of the perfect flower arrangements.

Chhatra Sagar

"Proposal corner".  Or something.

But sadly I haven’t. In fact, it’s only in the last couple of years I’ve even let myself entertain the thought I’ll get married at all. It’s not that I don’t love the idea of committing myself to one person forever – ironically, that bit doesn’t scare me at all. But a big white wedding? I panic enough about organizing an insignificantly-numbered birthday party.

I know what you’re thinking – just elope then. Get married somewhere casual, intimate and alone. But, even just a few weeks into the planning process, I’ve realized that a wedding isn’t just about you. It isn’t even about the two of you – though that throws up enough compromises. Your 92-year-old grandmother wants to share in your day. Your parents want to be involved. Your best friends are beyond excited – as long as they don’t think you’re going to put them in a hideous bridesmaids dress. I began to feel a bit churlish wanting to isolate everyone.

So here I am – a clueless bride with a wedding to plan. And a blog to chronicle every decision, freak-out and, here’s hoping, the fun along the way too. Wish me luck!     


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