Ah, the dating pool. With its swirling rapids and jagged rocks, it can be a mind field to navigate. Although more recently, thanks to Tinder, dipping our toes in the water has been a lot less petrifying. We open the app, give a quick swipe right, and before you know it we’re walking through the park holding hands and giggling like drunken teenagers on White Lightening. Romantic bliss.
But then his texts start to become a tad vague, his calls less frequent and his Facebook messages are non-existent. Seconds before you’re ready to report him to the police as a missing person, the realisation hits you like the cost of your credit card bill. You’ve been dumped.
Fortunately (or not, depending on how you look at it) the app world has stepped in once more. No longer content with providing a happy ever after, they’re helping Prince Charming to give us the boot too: introducing Binder, the app that signals the end, not the beginning. Because we definitely needed more excuses for people on the internet to act like tools and, yes - that is a play on the words ‘binned her’ and ‘Tinder’. Good.
All your (ex)-beloved has to do is pop in your details, give a swipe right, and you’ll get a delightful message (try ‘it’s not me, it’s definitely you’, or ‘I feel like I was maybe tricked into this’ for size) telling you he no longer wants to leave his toothbrush in your bathroom or meet your parents. Just in case that wasn’t enough, you also get a pre-recorded voice call to drive home the fact that you’re no longer on their match list. We tried it out in the Grazia office and, despite sounding cruel beyond belief, we really couldn’t fault it for speed.
Currently the app is supposedly just for men, however Binder’s creators have promised that ‘Bindhim’ - the female version of the app - is on the horizon. We’re not entirely sure we want in…
Have you had any hideous break ups? Tweet us at @Grazia_Live
By Jess Howard