Sexism Now And The ‘Post-Pink Era’ – What We Learned When #Grazia10 Tackled Feminism

What does feminism mean to you? That's the question we posed to some of the UK's biggest female power players last week, as #Grazia10's birthday TenTalks took on women's rights. And what an inspiring night it was...

Feminism: Then, Now and Tomorrow saw international law firm partner and Inspiring Women founder Miriam González Durántez, Everyday Sexism founder Laura Bates, Grazia's very own Hot Feminist, Polly Vernon, and Radio 4 journalist Anita Anand, tackle a subject often as divisive as it is inclusive with brilliant journalist and chair for the night, Elizabeth Day.

The hour-long discussion was an impassioned look at the feminist plight in the last ten years - as well as contemplating the 'post-pink era' we're currently experiencing (according to Polly Vernon) and hopes for women's rights in the future. From football vs fashion to social media, equal pay and education, as well as issues facing women the world over, the panellists packed in their opinions.

Watch a video of the talk below...

Allow us to introduce our five best bits...

1. Sexism is everywhere

Sexism is everywhere, and so ingrained and inherent in every day behaviour most people hardly stop to question it. But we should. "It was a series of terrible coincidences that inspired me to set up Everyday Sexism, shared Laura Bates. "A guy followed me off the bus and was being really aggressive, then that same week I was groped by [another] guy on the bus - I was on the phone to my mum and loudly told her what happened. I realised everyone had heard but they just pretended not to and continued looking out the window, almost like it was *me *that should be embarassed." Speaking to a group of her girlfriends later that day she realised that not one, not two but literally everyone had had similar experiences and, what's more, they weren't few and far between but in fact occuring all the time. From unequal pay for men and women, to disproportionate expectations and a whole myriad of other inequalities women around the world - to varying degrees - are still very much treated unequally.

2. The expectations of men vs those of women are very different (and very unfair)

"In interviews I'm often asked 'what are your child arrangements?'" said Miriam González Durántez- partner at international legal practice Dechert, founder of Inspiring Women Campaign (and wife of Rt Hon Nick Clegg MP, the Liberal Democrat Party Leader and Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.) "How many men get asked that?" Likely very, very few (if any). Answering that she shares childcare duty 50/50 with her husband, the world - and many female columnists - erupted in uproar. "They seemed to think it was an outrageous demand, that how dare I be depriving my husband of doing his really important job by 'forcing' him to spend time with his kids!" she said. Rousing a laugh from the audience, Miriam added that, whilst there is an expectation on women to do the school run, asking 'time-poor professional men' to pick up their children, the most important man in the world - Barack Obama - still has time to play golf.

"It's crazy," added Polly, "we congratulate men for being good family men but it's the very least we expect from a woman." And besides, as Miriam rightly put it: "A man can learn more about the state of a country outside the school gate than anywhere else."

"If you ever want to question whose running the media in this country just look at the sports coverage," said Polly. Indeed, as Laura put it: "women's sports coverage all together equals the same amount of coverage as the men's darts." Yikes. And for some reason, more prominence (and respect) is afforded to male dominated activities. "A woman who likes fashion or pop culture is always considered a bit stupid, yet what's the difference between a man crying over Arsenal and a teenage girl crying over Harry Styles?"

3. "Sexiness fuels feminism and feminism fuels sexiness"

It's a subject that Grazia columnist at large Polly Vernon has disussed at length in her columns and last night our panellists united with the shared view that yes, - you can be a feminist and still be other things, too. You can be a feminist and want to look good. You can be a feminist and be into fashion. You can be a feminist and, and, and. Contrary to 'popular' belief, being a feminist is not mutually exclusive. "I never really understood that there could be any contradiction," said Polly. "Sexiness fuels feminism and feminism fuels sexiness." As for the notion that feminism is essentially hating men and burning bras and all sorts of other negative preconceptions, journalist and author Anita Anand said: "The amount of times I get interviewed and people are like: 'you call yourself a feminist but you seem really nice!' I'm always like, 'do you believe in equality?' and they always say yes. So you're a feminist too! There are many young people who identify with feminism, but just don't wear (or know they're wearing) the badge."

**4. On how social media has contributed to the plight **

"Everyday Sexism wouldn't have happened without the Internet," said founder Laura Bates. "We've got 90,000 entries from people all over the world sharing their experiences and people so often say that that sense of solidarity has helped them and made other women feel like they can speak up, too." But of course, as with many areas of the Internet, a lot of negativity is stirred up with having such a direct line, as evidenced by the numerous death threats that Laura and her team receive. "Social networks are both the best and the worst thing that's happened to feminism," said Polly. "It gives people a platform to talk to others and an understanding of the extent of every day sexism, but then there are loads of people who are so negative and say things like 'oh, she calls herself a feminist but she...," she explained. "It's just designed to shut down debate and shut women down. By saying things like 'she's not a feminist because' it will just shut the whole thing down if we're not careful."

5. And then what?

"It takes time to get there," said Miriam. "It varies according to class and economic possibilities and all the rest of it but [in the UK] we're pretty much at 80, 90% equal; we can't forget that there are women just a two hour or so plane ride away that are at 5% or even -5%." But it's important to keep striving for equality across the board - as per our Mind The Pay Gap campaign (find out more here).

One big concern as voiced by Anita is that the number of women voting has decreased, with much fewer women voting than men. "As a collective we've forgotten the power we have together. To me, that's a crisis because it wasn't that long ago that women weren't allowed to vote. Before that, men didn't give a crap about women's rights, it was only after women started voting that the greatest leaps and strides were made."

And for the future? "We need basic sex education in schools," said Laura. "Children are only taught the mechanics of sex, nothing about healthy relationships or the right to consent. As a result they're looking to porn to answer their questions and, scarily, both girls and boys are ending up believing that it's normal for girls to cry during sex, that aggression and by force is the way it's done and that consent just isn't really all that important," she added. Indeed, re-education needs to start from the root, and a lot of it comes from school and sex education. As Miriam so rightly put it: "No one is born sexist [or racist or homophobic or anything else for that matter], they learn these behaviours and pick them up from the world around them. We just need to make sure we get to them early enough, and the messages they absorb are those of equality."

Please drop in to the free exhibition or book a place at a TenTalk. The exhibition runs from 23rd February - 14th March and is open to the public Monday ­ Friday (10am-5.30pm), Saturday (12-5.30pm). Please note the gallery is closed when the #Grazia10talks are on.

See the list of Tentalks and ticket links below.

Meet The Newsmakers

Predict Your Career Future

The Changing Faces Of Celebrity

Technology - Friend Or Foe?

Please note that tickets are limited. More tickets may be available to purchase at a later date. Please check Grazia’s Twitter and Facebook updates for more info.

**Can't make these? Don't fret! **If you do miss out on tickets to any of the events, you can enjoy #Grazia10 highlights every day right here at Graziadaily.co.uk.